We had a lovely first family holiday in Italy with my parents but I sure am glad to be home again. Travelling and holidaying with a baby is a completely different experience. On the whole, we are so lucky because my daughter is such an amenable baby, able to adjust to different circumstances and putting up with a lot of tinkering with her routine. Even so, it didn’t stop me from having to think ‘she needs a nap now’ or ‘she is due a bottle’ every minute of the day.
Now we are back, I am determined to get back into some kind of routine and I have picked up Organized Simplicity again so that I can focus on improving my cluttered house and cluttered head. The first task which I have been meaning to do for a while is to write a family purpose statement. The point of this is that we can use this statement to inform our decisions, specifically about how we spend our money, since this is getting more and more important as we cope without my full-time salary.
It has become apparent that we need to adjust our spending habits and live more intentionally by spending the money and time we have with less impulsiveness and more forethought. Whilst we do not want to lose our fun spontaneity, we acknowledge that we can sometimes be our own worst enemies. Reading Tsh Oxenreider’s book is helping me to get out of some bad habits which end up making me feel overwhelmed and useless.
Here is the first draft of our statement, which I haven’t yet discuss with ricardo:
We believe that our purpose as a family is to live without regret or worry and to have a positive impact on the people or environment around us. We will accomplish this by:
- valuing openness, respect, kindness and positivity
- making our home a place of warmth and simplicity
- making time for each other and for others
- communicating respectfully, effectively and with love
This may seem rather hippy-dippy but I have found it to be a useful tool so that I can assess how I am spending my time and money, how I am interacting with my family and others around me and what I spend my time thinking about. When I realise I am worrying about what someone thinks about me, then I refer to the statement and remember that I want to live without worry. When I think about putting off applying to be a teacher because it would be too hard, I think again as I want a life without regret. When I speak to my husband too harshly, I remember I want to communicate respectfully, effectively and with love.
The next chapter deals with time and I know that this will make me look (yet again) at my television habit. It helps that this is now the summer so most of the shows I/we watch are finished so I want to use this time to cut down on the screen time.
10 thoughts on “Home again and finding purpose”
Sometimes it’s really useful just to remember the important things, and your family statement reads like it will make you stop and think. I personally think a life without regret is so important, it’s too short to not do the things you want to.
Thanks, Louise. I hope it will help me/us live with a bit more purpose and less drifting about wasting opportunity.
This is such a lovely sentiment. Weirdly, I think writing things down and referring to them actually “anchors” them into your brain – if you see it in black and white, it seems more important – does that make sense? More than that, all of the things you have put are lovely, positive, life affirming things – they certainly can’t do any harm!
I often remind myself if I’m feeling blue, angry or reviewing my life “generally”, that above anything else I would always wish I spent more time with my husband. So we try to do that. Small changes, big differences!
The little things can really make the biggest difference. x
Really enjoyed reading this post Kate. It reminds me of what i always think i should be doing, more organising! I’d say your purpose statement describes exactly how you already are, so just keep doing what your doing & enjoy every second! x
Thanks, Annabel. I am feeling better after our chat earlier too so thank for that. x